I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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