sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
