im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
