just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
