How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
