I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
