so that wasnt chicken after all
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
