Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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