put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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