matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
