i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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