you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
