just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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