She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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