R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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