Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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