You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
