yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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