theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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