id be glad to
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
