you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
