and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
