I just cut my nipple shaving
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the day after is always just damage control
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
