Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
