At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
