wat bout pragnant strippers??
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Man, jail baloney is awful.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
