I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
