after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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