fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
not ubering you a puppy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
