i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
