Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
