So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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