Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
