There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
