he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
