I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
