dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
