Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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