ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
