he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
