Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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