Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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