There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
