dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
