Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
