Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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