i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
