Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
