Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
