walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
